Baby Bear~
You are home, you have been for two weeks now, and you keep mommy up so she is a zombie the majority of the time. You came home on the 8th and had your first pediatrician appointment on the 10th. When you left the hospital, you weighed in at 6lbs5oz. By Thursday, you were 6/10 (over your birthweight!!) and were measuring a lean mean 21 inches long. You are a tall & thin baby. And you have the cutest chicken legs. Who you inherited those from, we will never know. You're pretty much gorgeous all around, and everyone agrees. You still have your dark hair & dark (green or blue, we don't know yet) eyes. And you really, really like to sleep..DURING THE DAY. It's gotten to the point of being ridiculous. You started out on what I think was a normal newborn schedule during the night. You were eating every 2.5-3 hours and sleeping soundly in between..and mommy thought she was tired then. BAHAHAAH!! Now, you have progressed from being up from 1AM-3AM to being up last night from 1AM-7AM. At one point, we were both crying. Both because we were exhausted. Mommy had had enough. Daddy had to take over about 4am, but you wanted boobies, and then a bottle ever 60 minutes. It was insane. And now, at 3:42 in the afternoon, you are sleeping like a lamb. Of course you are. And mommy is so tired that she can't sleep. Awesome. We've got to figure out how to get you to stop doing this. And yesterday, you only took 2 naps, the rest of the day, you were awake and alert. So all the the "assvice" that people have been giving us about keeping you awake so you sleep at night...Yeah, hows that working out? Mommy should go sleep right now while you are. And I will try as soon as I get done w/this post.
You love boobies..lol. Which makes mommy really happy given our (well my) supply trouble at the beginning. I pretty much feed you on demand, which is hard on me, but fantastic for you. And I know your hungry cry anywhere. Oh, and sometimes, you don't cry, you growl, which cracks daddy up. I haven't quite figured out the rest of your cries yet, because, well, you don't cry that much. I know your "I'm exhausted and fighting sleep like a Jedi knight" cry though, very well. And sometimes, you will NOT sleep if I'm not holding you. I think the parents that co-sleep might just have something there. I'm still too scared to do it all the time, but I will admit that when in my arms is the only way we're both gonna get some sleep, we do it. Although, mommy sits almost completely propped up, w/covers only on her feet holding you in the crook of my arms, so nothing happens to you. I know most doctors (and esp. yours) are against co-sleeping because of the dangers, and I completely understand that, but sometimes, it's all that works. Oh, and because you love boobies, mommy's are huge. Jeesh. Even I'm impressed w/myself and everything that btdt mommies have told me is true. My chest seems to know when you will/are hungry about 30 minutes before you wake up, and just thinking about it, makes things, uh, like leakage happen. It's not cool when there are people around, but the fact that my body KNOWS you like that, thats pretty amazing. I'm going to have to start pumping again to build up my supply for when I go back to work. That pump is the devil. I hate it. And my body doesn't respond to it like it responds to you. It scares me that we'll have to stop bf'ing when I go back to work because my supply will be so low. Ugh.
Okay, now, I'm going to try and get some sleep. Your nana came over for a visit today and daddy took her out to lunch. Today wasn't the best day for a visit, but oh well. They're bringing mommy back some MCL, so that makes it worth it. Love you!!!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Baby Bear
That is your nickname..Because of all of your dark hair..You are amazingly beautiful. Seriously. Mommy has seen some pretty babies, you top ALL of them. Really.
You are doing very, very well. Today, mommy read your records, and baby bear, you came out not breathing. You had to be stimulated, and you imm. got a CPAP. It was extremely scary and touch and go. Mommy is really, really glad that daddy kept this information to himself. When I read it today, it just took the wind right out of me. It wasn't that long ago baby, and there could have been a much different outcome. Mommy & daddy thank God every day for you, for how well you have done, how well you continue to do. It still breaks my heart that you had to be in the NICU at all, and if we never have to go through this again, that will be just fine. And on that note, today, Val, your NP asked me what I was doing on Tuesday, I responded "I'll be right here." And she informed me that, if you keep up your eating and weight gain..Then you get to come home Tuesday. Oh my goodness. This makes mommy nervous too!! But happier then anything else, and relieved. Going to the NICU all the time is very tiring, for both of us. Having you home, I think, will be easier on both of us. Also, your going to meet your doggie, Allie, we'll have to see what she thinks about you. I think she'll love you, but she doesn't know her size, so we'll have to be really careful. Grandma (and maybe grandpa) live so close that they will be living w/us til daddy is home for good. We are really lucky that they are so close. Grandma helped mommy while you were on the inside, and has been a Godsend since you were born. Oh, and also, you LOVE to nurse. You are a fan of the boobs. In fact, you nursed for 2 hours today..lol. Mommy didn't realize you were just "snacking," and I got you completely off schedule. Oh well. You didn't need a bottle, and got all of your fill from mommy. We are naturals at nursing..pumping, not so much, but another NP explained that once you are home, we'll be nursing "on demand" probably every 2hrs, and that will establish my supply, which will make pumping, when I go back to work, easier. Oh baby, you'll be home soon, mommy & daddy and everyone else are SO excited!!!
You are doing very, very well. Today, mommy read your records, and baby bear, you came out not breathing. You had to be stimulated, and you imm. got a CPAP. It was extremely scary and touch and go. Mommy is really, really glad that daddy kept this information to himself. When I read it today, it just took the wind right out of me. It wasn't that long ago baby, and there could have been a much different outcome. Mommy & daddy thank God every day for you, for how well you have done, how well you continue to do. It still breaks my heart that you had to be in the NICU at all, and if we never have to go through this again, that will be just fine. And on that note, today, Val, your NP asked me what I was doing on Tuesday, I responded "I'll be right here." And she informed me that, if you keep up your eating and weight gain..Then you get to come home Tuesday. Oh my goodness. This makes mommy nervous too!! But happier then anything else, and relieved. Going to the NICU all the time is very tiring, for both of us. Having you home, I think, will be easier on both of us. Also, your going to meet your doggie, Allie, we'll have to see what she thinks about you. I think she'll love you, but she doesn't know her size, so we'll have to be really careful. Grandma (and maybe grandpa) live so close that they will be living w/us til daddy is home for good. We are really lucky that they are so close. Grandma helped mommy while you were on the inside, and has been a Godsend since you were born. Oh, and also, you LOVE to nurse. You are a fan of the boobs. In fact, you nursed for 2 hours today..lol. Mommy didn't realize you were just "snacking," and I got you completely off schedule. Oh well. You didn't need a bottle, and got all of your fill from mommy. We are naturals at nursing..pumping, not so much, but another NP explained that once you are home, we'll be nursing "on demand" probably every 2hrs, and that will establish my supply, which will make pumping, when I go back to work, easier. Oh baby, you'll be home soon, mommy & daddy and everyone else are SO excited!!!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
My Beautiful Daughter
You are one week old today..How have I not posted about this? Because you decided to choose your own due date..and though that meant you got to meet mommy & daddy on your timeline, it also means your 5 weeks early..And currently in the NICU. Which scares mommy to pieces, but you are doing amazing. You weighed 6lbs9oz at birth, which is HUGE for a preemie. Had you gone full term, you would have been over 9lbs. So maybe mommy is glad you came early..You are gorgeous. The most beautiful baby I have ever seen. Raven hair and dark green eyes. You have your daddy's hands & feet and mommy's lips and nose. My goodness, I am so in love with you. I tear up just thinking about it. I hope you don't remember any of your time in the NICU. Everyone tells me you won't. I certainly hope you don't remember that I have to leave you at night. I can't help it. The hospital won't let me spend the night w/you. It kills mommy to leave every night. The first day I cried all day. And each day since, tears fall for something. But baby, don't think anything of it. Mommy just worries. You stay in the NICU just as long as you need too. Get all better. Get back to your birth weight. Get to eating all your food. That way, you can get home. You are nursing like a champ, but my supply only seems to come in when I'm near you. When I pump, not so great. I'm supposed to pump like I would be feeding you, seems like thats all I do. But baby girl, you are so completely worth it. And my sweet darling, you have healed mommy's heart, and daddy's too. We lost 5 babies before we had you, and those 5 babies sent you us. They sent you to us to help us heal, to show us the reason why it took us so long to get to you. You are a miracle. Oh my goodness. I am just so in love with you. And you have your daddy wrapped around your little finger already. We love you baby girl.
Monday, January 24, 2011
30 Days
This is when you will make your appearance Baby E. Today, momma had to see the great & wonderful Dr. F because of severe pain & swelling in her hands & arms. I also got an u/s because I was so worried about you (which I had no reason to be, but w/the friend and her baby..I just was.) You are GORGEOUS!! And very, very breech. Footling breech in fact. Your coming out feet first currently. And your long. And right now, you have hiccups..It's adorable =) Anyway, Dr. F was shocked to see that your head is in my ribs, because for every single visit since 16wks, you have been head down. In fact, most of the time, the only person you will move head down for is Dr. F. So I asked Dr. F what we do from here, do we wait for you to move head down or what? And he said we could try an external version at week 37. I do NOT want this. It hurts when one's skin isn't completely shredded by PUPPP. Mommy's is. Big time. And Dr. F said he doesn't think he would do it because of this and because it could end up not working anyway, and we'd both be stressed because of the pain. So we set a date to meet you. February 24, 2011. 30 days from today baby girl, you'll be in my arms, and not in my belly. It's very bittersweet. I wanted you to pick your own birthday, but you seem to have your daddy's stubborn streak and Dr. F said that he's pretty sure your not going to move, cause you're that big. And we trust Dr. F. Also, your daddy guessed the 24th would be your birthday...I haven't gotten to talk to him yet, but he is going to be so, so excited. So there you have it baby girl. We'll meet each other, face to face, in 30 days. Mommy is so excited, overwhelmed, nervous. Absolutely can't wait!!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Baby E
Today, well yesterday actually, one of mommy's bloggy friends found out her daughter had died, and she had been kept in the dark about the whole thing. I felt like I had been kicked in the heart. She delivered at 35wks and a few days. Where we are now. I think I must've prayed for 20 minutes after reading her post. For her, for her husband, and for their baby, and then, the hardest for you. We have our pep talks every day, and no matter how much I complain, I do not want you born until you are ready to be part of the world outside of my body. I could not face loosing you. So you just stay put for a few more weeks. 38 is the SOONEST you are allowed to come and I will do whatever it takes to keep you in until then. This has been on my mind all day as I feel you move around, and push back at me to the point I feel that my skin will split. No matter how uncomfortable I am or how much pain it causes, you stay put!! Everyone is saying you are going to come early, only mommy thinks you'll wait til the last minute to make your grand entrance. Dr. F says he's coming to get you if you don't appear by March 9th. I say, you'll wait til March 8th, and you'll be a big girl. I love you so much, my sweet daughter.
Friday, January 14, 2011
34 (!!!) Weeks
How far along? 34 weeks (after 35 weeks, Dr. F won't stop labor, that means you COULD come as soon as next week, but we've had that pep talk Miss E, your bday is NOT until February. Stay put!!)
Maternity Clothes: For sure, defn. Still rocking the black yoga pants, my maternity jeans still fit, but that stupid "belly band" hider thing only goes about half way up. At our last appointment (last Monday) I was measuring 38 weeks, so thats a full term size belly and we still have about 6 weeks to go. I feel like I look HUGE in everything, and now, most stuff is so tight around the belly, people can see you move from the outside.
Body Oddities: Still having a good time w/the PUPPP. We've managed to avoid steroids for now, but Dr. F is concerned about the rash, and how much it is itching. It's not even that annoying, until I realize I'm scratching my skin off and it's bleeding. Oops. And oh yeah, Dr. F took us off the Lovenox shots (yay) at about 30 weeks, and now the belly is not nearly as hard and there's no bruises!! It's pretty rad. Still having daily & nightly swelling of the feet, they've gotten pretty bad a few times, but now I'm only wearing my crocs & house slippers, and no regular shoes whenever possible. I should've taken a picture of them @ Aunt L's wedding. OMG. We were sure they were going to pop.
Sleep: What is this sleep word? Back to averaging about 3-4hrs a night..and NOT in a row. Up about every 2 hours to pee and your new trick this week is realizing when mommy is about to fall asleep, and dancing or doing somersaults. It's practice for having you here I'm sure. I know you'll be a night owl, mommy always was.
Best moment this week: When you move for an hour or so straight. You are constantly on the move. And I think you only go head down for Dr. F. Literally, you've been sideways all week except for when I said "do you think she's head down." And he felt, and yep you were. Not 2 seconds later were you sideways again. And this weeks visits was the fastest and easiest. I really didn't have any questions (that Dr. F didn't answer before I asked) and we were in & out. Yay!!
Worst Moment: Being sick. Momma has been rocking a fever/cold/ sore throat/congestion/runny nose/exhaustion for going on 3 days. Being sick and being pregnant is the worstest. Not only because I can't take anything, but because the small things are 100% more annoying.
Movement: Constantly!! It is amazing to watch & even more amazing to think that in a few weeks, you'll be doing that OUTSIDE my body. I can't wait!!
Food Cravings: Ice, lemonade, Cheetos, cheese, pork chops, pasta, pizza, carrotts, salad. <--Same as last week!!
Rings: Off since the beginning of December (so 27 weeks?) Daddy got me a really pretty replacement set to wear for the rest of this pregnancy. It's lovely =) <--Ditto.
Gender: Girl, gal, cowgirl, la petite
Intense Dreams: I've moved into the you being born early dreams. Or being born in the car, the ocean, the bathtub, etc.
Medical Concerns: Measuring huge, PUPPP, hives, itchiness, back pain, and add in being sick for three days.
What I look forward too: Our baby shower tomorrow.. I hope I'm feeling all better!!
Emotional State: Easily annoyed, that would be my top feature this week, and cranky. Ugh.
Maternity Clothes: For sure, defn. Still rocking the black yoga pants, my maternity jeans still fit, but that stupid "belly band" hider thing only goes about half way up. At our last appointment (last Monday) I was measuring 38 weeks, so thats a full term size belly and we still have about 6 weeks to go. I feel like I look HUGE in everything, and now, most stuff is so tight around the belly, people can see you move from the outside.
Body Oddities: Still having a good time w/the PUPPP. We've managed to avoid steroids for now, but Dr. F is concerned about the rash, and how much it is itching. It's not even that annoying, until I realize I'm scratching my skin off and it's bleeding. Oops. And oh yeah, Dr. F took us off the Lovenox shots (yay) at about 30 weeks, and now the belly is not nearly as hard and there's no bruises!! It's pretty rad. Still having daily & nightly swelling of the feet, they've gotten pretty bad a few times, but now I'm only wearing my crocs & house slippers, and no regular shoes whenever possible. I should've taken a picture of them @ Aunt L's wedding. OMG. We were sure they were going to pop.
Sleep: What is this sleep word? Back to averaging about 3-4hrs a night..and NOT in a row. Up about every 2 hours to pee and your new trick this week is realizing when mommy is about to fall asleep, and dancing or doing somersaults. It's practice for having you here I'm sure. I know you'll be a night owl, mommy always was.
Best moment this week: When you move for an hour or so straight. You are constantly on the move. And I think you only go head down for Dr. F. Literally, you've been sideways all week except for when I said "do you think she's head down." And he felt, and yep you were. Not 2 seconds later were you sideways again. And this weeks visits was the fastest and easiest. I really didn't have any questions (that Dr. F didn't answer before I asked) and we were in & out. Yay!!
Worst Moment: Being sick. Momma has been rocking a fever/cold/ sore throat/congestion/runny nose/exhaustion for going on 3 days. Being sick and being pregnant is the worstest. Not only because I can't take anything, but because the small things are 100% more annoying.
Movement: Constantly!! It is amazing to watch & even more amazing to think that in a few weeks, you'll be doing that OUTSIDE my body. I can't wait!!
Food Cravings: Ice, lemonade, Cheetos, cheese, pork chops, pasta, pizza, carrotts, salad. <--Same as last week!!
Rings: Off since the beginning of December (so 27 weeks?) Daddy got me a really pretty replacement set to wear for the rest of this pregnancy. It's lovely =) <--Ditto.
Gender: Girl, gal, cowgirl, la petite
Intense Dreams: I've moved into the you being born early dreams. Or being born in the car, the ocean, the bathtub, etc.
Medical Concerns: Measuring huge, PUPPP, hives, itchiness, back pain, and add in being sick for three days.
What I look forward too: Our baby shower tomorrow.. I hope I'm feeling all better!!
Emotional State: Easily annoyed, that would be my top feature this week, and cranky. Ugh.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Your First New Year
2011...It's the year of your birth baby girl!! You'll be here in 54 days give or take..I cannot believe that!! We are counting down the days until you get here. You're baby shower is in 13 days..Hopefully we get a lot of stuff. Daddy and I haven't really bought anything (except some clothes and cute binkies). Grandma is going to get your crib and changing table and Nana is going to get you your pack & play and stroller. Yay!! And we need your co-sleeper..Oh my goodness, this is really happening!! We love you so much!!
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